I like math. Algebra and related sisters. There are rules, and structure. I do well with rules and structure. It makes sense. Now the rules of math and the rules of English are completely different. Well yes, math is numbers and English is words, but that’s not the point. The point is that English rules change if they feel like it. Take “I before E except after C” that rule makes sense until the rules are like “Nah man we don’t like you today and want to confuse the crap out of you” so you end up breaking the rules. The rules put in place to have structure. Take away the structure and it ends up weird. See what I did there, I used an adjective that doesn’t follow the rules. 

Why am I pointing this out? Well because I want my life to be more like Math, not English. Right now my life doesn’t have enough math in it. Not enough rules, plans, schedules, or any way to organize my life. Well, that’s not completely true. But even so, I’m finding that since my life has too much freedom and not enough structure, I don’t get anything done. And when the stress of not doing anything piles so high I’m suffocating, I stress more. Which I think would be me stressing over stressing. I avoid things, I am then not living in the math nor the English world. I am simply just living. Because at that point there are no rules for me to break and create new weird words. 

That is how I live my life. My mom asked me yesterday how come I was able to research the Race, apply, and even get in with no help from her, but I’m not able to sign the support letters. A simple task that shouldn’t even use half my brain. At the moment I didn’t have a good answer, I told her that to me it wasn’t a simple task, to me it was more. All I could think about was all the ways that I could fail, or it could go terribly wrong. That alone is enough to mentally paralay

****insert dramatic channel take over like what happens on TV when the bad guy takes over all the stations****

At 11:30 right when I was about to wrap this up.

“You are doing it wring Sis” my dad told me, “ You need to be like water not math or English” 

To which I had no clue what he was talking about. I don’t need to be water, I need to be math. Water doesn’t make sense. He goes on to show and explain to me that water reacts to the problems. Water can deal with any situation. Water takes what is given to them and redirects it. Like a rock in the water, the rock is a  strong structure, but the water moves around it and keeps going. Water doesn’t let the rock get in its way. My dad said I don’t need structure, I just need to learn how to deal with the problems ahead, as water does. I fight him on this and still don’t fully understand what he means by this. I don’t do water I do math I told him. And he tells me that I don’t do water yet. So I walked out of the house to finish writing this how I want to, with the English and Math, and here I am sitting on a picnic table writing about the water. Says something doesn’t it?

***back to normal***

What just happened? Got any ideas? No? Well then back to math. 

I have raised $1,155  with a few extra donations for pocket money. Sent out my first round of support letters and finishing up the second to be mailed out soon. 

Thanks to all my loyal readers, I appreciate you very much!!!  Continue to share with friends and family!

 I am super excited that my grandparents are coming to town this weekend! I haven’t seen them since my sister's birthday in September I think. I’m not exactly sure when my sister's Birthday is, sad I know. Don’t need you to remind me. I also get to spend some time with them up in Rochester MN, for my birthday. Since I’ll have the license that allows me to leave the state, I want my first trip by myself to be up to them. 

I feel like I’ve wrapped this up nicely, but I do have one other thing to add, well maybe two. I still need prayer for like everything in my life. I don’t always know what, but I just do. All of me needs prayer. So I ask that you pray forever part of my life and for every person that is in my life and for boot camp that is coming up. If you do thank you!

Also my birthday is in 19 days. So WOOT WOOT!!

Anyway...Have a GREAT day!!! Be HAPPY!! and please please please remember to PRAY!!!! Love you guys!