CRAZY week, squirrels, and getting DEEP!

Hey Guys!!

*note after reading through this I realized I was a squirrel when I wrote this. So I apologize in advance for the jumpiness of it all. OPE…*

     I think I just want to start off by saying. WOW!! Is today Thursday already? Like I’m supposed to be starting to write my blog. On a normal day when I haven’t forgotten what day it is, I would have already started or at least had an idea of what to write formulated. Not today. Nope. I guess that’s kind of been the theme of my week though. I’ve been quite busy. Between shopping for clothes for my senior pics, school, work, and my actual senior pics session I’ve kept myself quite busy. Oh and let’s not forget all the stuff I’ve been working on for my trip. My mom and I (mostly my mom) have been quite busy putting together my #CamRoRica logo, making my prayer cards, helping me write my support letter, and helping me organize all my donors. 

     Speaking of donors, because I’m certain you all are tired of me listing all the ways this week has been CRAZY, I have raised $300 this week bringing me to a grand total of $1,065. I still need roughly $2,435 (I think that is the right math) in order to reach my first goal in June. For those of you (me) who can’t do mental math all that well that is $3,500 by June 16.  With that being said, I would like to give them a shout-out! Their support is everything. And don’t think I forgot about you loyal readers. The number of people that read this excites me and makes me want to write more. So thank you all again!! 🙂

     Quick side note: Did you know that photoshoots are exhausting????? I didn’t! And wasn’t expecting to be so tired afterward. SO… just in case you were wanting to do a photoshoot in the near future that’s something to keep in mind. I think it’s safe to say I won’t be a model in my future. Nuh-uh *violent headshake* 

     Okay so here’s a question: how do I know if and job interview went well or not? Like they are really good at not giving anything away, so how am I supposed to know if I should be freaking out or well freaking out. Is there even another option? I feel like there isn’t. So yea… I had a job interview the other day and I am now freaking out. I’ve never actually had a job interview where they asked me questions. My last job interview was just a tour of the facility.  With that in mind, I could use some prayer there. I don’t want you to be praying that I got the job, I want you to ask God to have his will be done.  I could also use some prayers in the area of nerves and my overflowing pot of worry. 

     I should probably elaborate on the whole overflowing pot of worry, but I feel like those same worries are going to be there next week, so y’all can wait till then. Though that doesn’t mean that you can’t still pray that I will put all my trust in God and let my worries go because I do that every night anyway. A little extra prayer never hurt anyone. Has it? Maybe I should google that. 

    Another side note: you ever feel like google is your lifeline and when it doesn’t give you a direct answer you feel like the world is ending? Because that is me, like 100%

     Back to business I’ve been reading this book for the world race called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. I’ve never really been able to read let alone connect with a book that revolves around biblical things. I’ve tried and never really connected and understood the reading, but for some reason, this book is really hitting home. I have found myself highlighting and taking notes on most of the pages. At this point, I think the book is more yellow than anything. Anyway, I wanted to share something that I read with you guys. The author, Peter Scazzero, was talking about how Christians often are living two lives (not all, some are the real deal). The same person who sings full-heartedly at church, and sets aside time every day for devotions, can be cursing out their friends or co-workers. Sometimes only doing the bare minimum of churchy things. He references a woman that dropped out of the church for some years after asking “Why is it that so many Christians make such lousy human beings?” *note not trying to call anyone out I’m am simply sharing a realization in my own life* Reading what he wrote really hit home for me. I feel like sometimes I’m two different people. I act the way I’m supposed to around my church family, the good-loving daughter that does nothing but good, but the moment I leave and am at home it’s like a switch has been flipped. I am nasty to my siblings and I (not as much anymore but still a valid point) tend to not spend time with God. Instead, I read a book, watch T.V., or go to a friend’s house. All these things instead of doing the simplest of things that God asks me to do. I feel like a fraud. Not worthy of this trip, not good enough to be doing his works. I realize that part of that is Satan getting into my head, but am I not giving him something to put into my head? 

     I don’t know that is just what has been circling my mind since I read it. My prayers every night, before I even read this, is that I put GOD first in everything I do. That I don’t have two people inside of me. And I ask that you guys help me by praying for me as well. 

     I realize that got way deeper than anyone wanted me to get, and hopefully, my mom approves of me getting real with you guys. I don’t know maybe she will say I got to real. HAHA. Is that even a thing anymore? 

     I would like to say that as I was writing that part, a song came on on my album by Maverick City called “Have my heart” I really felt that the song fit perfectly with what I was writing. I had never heard the song before and was only listening to the album because a squad member recommended them, and I am SO thankful that they did because I really needed that today. So I urge you guys to listen to it as well and let me know what you think. 

 Anyway…Have a GREAT day!!! Be HAPPY!! and please please please remember to PRAY!!!! Love you guys! And I’ll see you guys next Friday