Hey guys just a few thoughts I had this week!

What is happiness? What does it mean to you? Is happiness the same as Joy? Are they interchangeable? Can you be happy without Joy? Are you Joyous because you are happy?

We talk about being happy and we talk about what happiness is. We talk about joy, but we don’t talk about what Joy is - true Joy.

Last week I talked about how I found my joy. But then the next day I felt like I had lost it. I had started spiraling and believing the lies that were fed to me or that I told myself. I was wondering “what’s the point?” I wrote this whole blog about how I’m supposed ignore the lies and replace them with truths, yet I was doing the complete opposite. If I’m being completely honest, I made things worse than they were before because I felt very hypocritical. Anyone else feel that way? You give someone advice but ignore it when it comes to yourself, or you don’t believe it anymore? It happens more than we think. It’s subconscious, we don’t always realize we do that. But that’s the problem, and what we need to be most careful about. It’s the subconscious things that get us into trouble.

“But Trin what does that have to do with happiness and joy?”

A lot of things actually. You see, joy never leaves you, it’s always there, always accessible. You have the choice to live your life in joy because joy is not a feeling based on you. Joy is finding God in the hard times and allowing him to be your happiness and peace. True joy does not rely on your circumstances, it is purely choosing into the good in a bad situation, the good that God gives. Joy is knowing that even though our circumstances is rough God is there with us, whispering truth in our ear.

Joy is giving yourself grace when you feel like a hypocrite. Joy is giving yourself patience, slowing down and letting God take on your problems with you. Joy is using a porta potty because you are just grateful not to have to pee in the woods when it’s down pouring. Joy is knowing that God uses trials to teach you. Joy is knowing God is holding you when you feel like nothing.

You don’t have to be happy to have joy. But seeking joy can help you be happy. Happiness is a feeling, a reaction to something good going on, something right in the world. Planets aligning, I don’t know, but joy is always ever present and available for you. When we choose joy the subconscious thoughts, the ones that get us in trouble, lessen.

This week I felt defeated, too broken to be loved, scared, not good enough, and ultimately, I just felt so much pain I didn’t know how to decipher anything. I felt like my happiness, my joy, had left me. I worried about tomorrow and didn’t trust God. I was a completely different person than I was last week. I had no peace and didn’t even know what I was doing.

The thing is, I wasn’t choosing joy. It was subconscious. See what I mean, the subconscious things get us in trouble. It was like the first chance I got to be anything but happy, I took. I have been processing so much and trying to figure out how much my past has affected me, that I didn’t give me any time to just sit in the pain, grieve the things of my past. I didn’t allow myself to seek joy because I didn’t believe I deserved it. How Could I? I was being a hypocrite. I had put so much on my shoulders that happiness and joy felt too far away. And it didn’t help that I had a literal dark cloud over me the whole week. Rain doesn’t really do anything to lift my spirits.

Now? What am I doing now? I am choosing the joy. It’s not easy and I most certainly did not get there by myself. I had friends and family slap me across the face. Not literally, but I had to have some sense knocked into me.

The first thing that was “knocked into me” was: “be patient with yourself”, which to me was like a bomb was just thrown at my face. I had no idea I could be patient with myself. How does that even work? Answer: you have stop take a breath, cry for a couple hours, and then realize that you aren’t going to be able to do everything. I Know. We all have deadlines and overflowing plates, but just like at thanksgiving you cannot eat everything at once, or in this case you can’t do everything at once. Sometimes you have to take a step back look for the joy and then move forward. I know I had to do this.

Second piece of advice that was given to me was this “Sis you aren’t a hypocrite, you didn’t say you were perfect at ignoring the lies, all you did was show people.” Which I don’t know about you but, that hit me. HARD. In the face. I had wrote about it, but I never said I was perfect at it. That was what I needed to hear. And what I’m going to tell you is that when we give advice not always do we have to be perfect at it. It’s okay to give advice that you yourself is still working on. But be careful because this is a subconscious thing and I already told you how I feel about that.

So now? Now I seek out joy everyday and in everything I do. I seek joy when I’m happy, and when I’m broken. I. Seek. Joy.

It’s hard, but worth it. Seek the joy!

Have a GREAT day!!! Be HAPPY!! and please please please remember to PRAY!!!! Love you guys!