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There all comes a time when reality isn’t what it used to be, and out normal changes. When COVID-19 first hit our nation we couldn’t possibly know how much our so-called normal would change. And our reality doesn’t seem so real anymore. I never thought that one little virus would change so much. I also figured that if my family can survive the peak of the pandemic then we’ll be fine. We ain’t gonna get it. But then a headache turned into a fever and that turned out to be COVID-19. And that turned into the end of the world. Well not literally, but what I thought was just this silly little virus turned out to be something, but only when it was happening to my family. My reality changed and shifted. I get you might think I’m being dramatic, but my reality can be different than yours. And right now my reality is possibly missing my dad’s graduation, which I wouldn’t say I was looking forward to it but now that I can’t go and see my dad walk across the stage as his dream is finally coming true…well let’s just say that I’m a little upset about that. My new reality is that in my last month before I leave, I’m stuck quarantining, and can’t see my friends. I can’t take the one weekend I had off to go and visit my grandpa’s church so that I can possibly get the last little bit of funding I need. My new reality is far from what I wish it to be. In the perfect world where COVID-19 didn’t exist, I would be at my best friend’s house watching a  movie we have been waiting months to watch. But that’s just it, I don’t live in a perfect COVID-19 free world. I live in this one. 

 

Did you know that there was a 34% increase in deaths from last week? I don’t know why but that number stuck out to me. Last week I’d been living my life like the virus isn’t here. Heck ever since masks were no longer mandated I’ve been living life like it wasn’t real. Actually laughing at it. I needed to be woken up. My friend was right. Maybe God did put COVID in my home for a reason. How am I supposed to go out into the world and see what is actually going on when I’ve already turned a blind eye to what is happening right in from of me? If I’ve been ignoring this real virus what else will I ignore when I’m gone? I’ve been living in this perfect bubble for far too long. How silly it was of me to assume that my family wouldn’t be affected by COVID. 

 

 I write this special blog because I felt I needed to.  I don’t know why, but something inside of me said to write about this separate from my weekly blog. Maybe this connects with you too, maybe not. But I’m not saying that we should be living in fear of every little thing that could go wrong, what I’m saying is that we can’t be blind to the real problems out there. 

 

God is going to be with you so don’t worry about that, but if you are like me, and just realized that you have been turning a blind eye. Take it to God. 


6 responses to “Open Eyes”

  1. I’m so sorry about all that you have to go through and what you will miss.

    I do appreciate that you wrote this very vulnerable post, though, and that you’ve taken a very rotten situation and found a great spiritual lesson from it. Not everyone can do that. I’m proud of you.

    The truth has always been that someone somewhere has been very sick, dying, or losing a loved one to Covid. So while some people are keyboard warriors for their political opinion on the matter, or scoffing, or even laughing at those people who still choose to wear masks, they forget (or don’t care) that Covid is affecting someone (lots and lots of someones, really) in horrible ways. Some in ways like missing graduations or not getting to see family and friends. Others are scared and alone in a hospital…and others yet are heartbroken over the loss of their loved one.

    A lot of times people can’t really see how something might be affecting others until it affects them. But, like you mentioned, going into the Mission field will mean you learning to understand other people’s experiences–their reality–and being sensitive and empathetic to their experiences.

    …I just wish you hadn’t had to “learn” this in this way.

    Over here, we’re all praying for all of you over there. And I’m so sad at all that you will have to miss. ??

  2. Oh kiddo, life is tough, but God is Good. So thankful that you were at home when Covid entered your life. It is tough to be sick when you aren’t near your family. I think 99 percent of the people in the USA have let their guard down. I know I did, but a little over a week ago Grandpa and I started to mask again and made sure we sanitized our hands after being in a public place. As you know we have more famile infected with the virus. Makes it tough on a Mom and Grandma not being able to lend a helping hand. I have been praying several times a day, everyday for healing and protection from the virus.
    This will be a life lesson for all of us. I love you so much. Thanks for posting.

  3. Right here with you Trinity. It is no fun watching your husband and kids suffer from this and feeling so crappy yourself to do anything for them. Covid sucks is an understatement. God is in control. I love you and your family, wish I could help you guys out! Praying for healing for all!